Moderation is a bitch

I hate the word alcoholic. It conjures up images of dark alley ways and vomit. I have a hard time with the concept that a person is born addicted to alcohol. That it is a disease. If a person becomes addicted to cigarettes or cocaine do they have a disease? Were they born addicted to cigarettes? I would be willing to concede that some people are born with a personality more inclined towards addiction. However, it seems to me that if a person regularly partakes in an addictive substance, they are likely to become addicted to that substance.

Sobriety is stigmatized because society loves their booze. It is much easier to believe that “some people” have a problem than to admit that alcohol is a addictive drug. We don’t want to hear that it is a carcinogen and can cause cancer. We want to believe that the resveratrol in red wine is the new health elixir. That the hops in beer are good for us. It’s like swimming with sharks because swimming is good for us. We never call alcohol what it is. It’s hard to romanticize a drug.

A nice cold beer, good red wine, adult drinks, cordials, prosecco. Try this, replace “I would love a nice chilled glass of Rose with I would love a nice chilled glass of booze.”  Doesn’t quite have the same effect. We have been brainwashed and companies are making billions.

Before I became free from alcohol, the question of whether or not I was going to drink or how much I was going to drink was a conversation I had regularly with myself. On the way home from work, I would think, “should I stop and get a bottle of wine?” Or out to dinner, “should I have another glass.”

It’s challenging to moderate when you are anesthetizing your brain. After two drinks, your inhibitions are failing and the ability to make a good decisions is fading. That’s why so many of us find it hard to stop after a couple of drinks.

Even if I did manage drink moderately, I would still feel mildly crappy. Knowing I willingly made myself a little bit sick.

Repeating this pattern over and over again for years had a lot of negative effects, loss of time, loss of health, loss of money. But, the biggest most significant loss was the loss of my self-respect.

 

6 thoughts on “Moderation is a bitch

  1. Love it. “I would be willing to concede that some people are born with a personality more inclined towards addiction. However, it seems to me that if a person regularly partakes in an addictive substance, they are likely to become addicted to that substance.” I so agree with this! Also, what makes us want that drink, or for that matter, that cigarette or that cruise down social media lane? It’s discomfort, loneliness, FOMO, i.e. various forms of suffering (no matter how minor they seem at the time). I’m trying to learn to sit with my suffering and care for it instead of immediately appeasing it. But it’s hard work.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Even if I did manage drink moderately, I would still feel mildly crappy. Knowing I willingly made myself a little bit sick.”
    “Repeating this pattern over and over again for years had a lot of negative effects, loss of time, loss of health, loss of money. But, the biggest most significant loss was the loss of my self-respect.”

    That’s it… I never used to have this. But something shifted for me in midlife. I felt like I’d just outgrown it, and yet it was so hard to keep to my own path when others continued to partake. It’s so nice to feel not alone in this journey. Your blog gives me that. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree!! It’s so difficult to feel normal as a non-drinker because society makes us think we are strange not to want to drink. I’m hoping things will change in time. Good for you for staying on your own path, who wants to confrom anyway!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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